The Scotsman Magazine – May 10th 2008

My seven secrets of survival
By Gaby Soutar

1: In business my favourite saying is: "You get more bees with honey". Sometimes the simplest mottos can be the most effective. I always believe you should treat others as you expect to be treated, and going that extra mile reaps rewards.

Look at the situation and the people involved and then react accordingly. It's all too easy to jump in and express an opinion. However, everyone is unique and we all have our strengths and weaknesses. See people for who they are and not who you want them to be. It is not all about taking what you can get. I'd much rather be known for my generosity and compassion than for a frugal and pessimistic nature.

2: Every action causes a reaction. I'm a great believer that everything comes full circle. While we all have the capacity to react immediately to a situation, it takes a stronger individual to allow themselves time out to re-group, reassess the situation and act accordingly. Sometimes not saying a word really is more effective than letting it all out.

3: Laughter is the best medicine. Do I need to say more?

4: Passion is important. And I don't mean strip your clothes off and recreate a scene out of 9 1/2 Weeks. Passion is such a dramatic word but it encompasses who I am and what I wish to be perceived as, not only in my work but in my home life. I think it truly is an underrated quality. We become cynical and hardened to the world, we forget to see the fun in what we do and who we are and most importantly who we are with. My eulogy will be: "She came, she saw, and, although she may not have conquered, she certainly gave it her best and did it with vigour!"

5: A little bit of what you fancy does you good. We are a guilt-ridden society and can be self-conscious in our actions and desires. I work incredibly hard and push myself each day so I feel that I should reward my efforts every now and again. This treat could be a fabulous new bag, must-have shoes, or even a day in my PJs enjoying a coffee with the blinds half up, the TV on and a stack of magazines. They're guilty pleasures but they makes me feel fantastic and ready to face the next challenge.

6: Family. My mother is the most incredible person and if I can emulate a quarter of her being I will be blessed. I've learned to appreciate the little things, never to expect anything and to strive for everything. This wouldn't be possible without my family and partner. Their love is endless and comes in many forms. As we grow our lives grow and we have the propensity to forget to take our loved ones with us. We expect them to always be there but we forget to let them in. I never take for granted who is behind me, pushing me along to be a better person. It is my great fortune to have them in my life.

7: Be true to yourself. The best advice my mum ever gave me was to stay true to who I am and not to try to be someone else. I found this confusing as a child, but as I grew up I understood the meaning. We try to be like our friends and peers, to fit in and not be different, but we lose our identity and sense of self along the way. Accept yourself and your faults – we all have them. Love who you are as a person and others will follow.